Leaders developing leaders.

Listening

Listening While Working Remote

The art of conversation lies in listening.
–Malcom Forbes

Listening takes work, it’s a skill most of us could improve upon, and working remotely adds to the difficulty.

Wiley’s Personal Listening Profile assesses five listening approaches:

  1. Appreciative: This style is more relaxed and seeks enjoyment, entertainment, or inspiration.
  2. Empathic: This style is supportive of the speaker, does not judge, and seeks to learn.
  3. Comprehensive: With this style the listener relates what they hear to what they’re already familiar with by organizing and summarizing the main message.
  4. Discerning: This style listens to get complete information so they understand the important details while also taking in appearance, tone and behavior.
  5. Evaluative: This style tends to look for facts that support the message and may accept or reject the message based on personal beliefs.

Does one style sound more like you than the others? Does your style change dependent on the speaker? And, does your preferred style change if the conversation is in person versus on conference or video calls?

These tips for working remotely have been shared previously but they’re worth sharing again:

  • For video calls encourage that the camera be “on” whenever possible and look for body language and levels of engagement
  • Listen for what’s being said and what isn’t being said
  • Don’t immediately assess what you’ve heard until the conversation has ended (we sometimes are too quick to think we understand and miss key points)
  • Avoid multi-tasking
  • Look attentive and interested in the speaker; nod for understanding and encouragement
  • Paraphrase your interpretation of the topic/message
  • Minimize or tune out distractions
  • Remain focused and attentiveStrong listening skills are required for effective communication and healthy relationships.  Be aware of your preferred style, adapt as necessary, and become an active and purposeful listener!

We have two ears and one tongue so that we would listen more and talk less.
–Diogenes

Are You Listening?

Listen, involve, synergize at work. Then you will bury the old and create an entirely new winning culture which will unleash people’s talents and create complementary teams where strengths are made productive and weakness are made irrelevant through the strengths of others.— Stephen R. Covey

Would you be surprised to learn that communication continues to be an issue in the workplace? That only 13% of U.S. workers strongly agree that their organization’s leadership communicates effectively?

This may not be news as it’s been an issue for years, but why is that? Are we choosing to NOT address the issue?

The state of our work culture includes many elements, but it’s been determined that there’s a strong link between having a disengaged workforce and ineffective communication. And, a study by Salesforce Research found that:

Employees who feel their voice is heard at work are nearly five-times (4.6X) more likely to feel empowered to perform their best work

No doubt about it, listening takes work! Below are 6 tips gathered BY STEPHANIE VOZZA:

1. LISTEN TO LEARN, NOT TO BE POLITE
Ajit Singh, professor in the School of Medicine at Stanford University, says If we ever finish a conversation and learned nothing surprising, we weren’t really listening.

2. QUIET YOUR AGENDA
Really listen to what someone else is trying to say. We need information that is disconfirming, not confirming.

3. ASK MORE QUESTIONS
When you ask questions, you create a safe space for other people to give you an unvarnished truth.

4. PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR TALK/LISTEN RATIO
Strive for a 2:1 ratio of listening to talking.

5. REPEAT BACK WHAT YOU HEARD
If the speaker agrees that what you heard is what he or she intended to say, you can move on. If not, the speaker needs to reword their statement until the listener really does understand.

6. ACTUALLY WAIT UNTIL SOMEONE IS DONE TALKING BEFORE YOU RESPOND
Leslie Shore, author of Listen to Succeed shares: When we begin working on a reply before the speaker is finished, we lose both the complete information being offered and an understanding of the kind of emotion present in the speaker’s delivery.

How do you think listening would be rated in your workplace? What are you doing to improve that rating?

Leaders who don’t listen will eventually be surrounded by people who have nothing to say.–Andy Stanley

Are Managers Leaders?

The Number One problem in organizations today is not a “lack of leadership.”
It is untrained people managers.-John G. Miller

We have shared that “Leaders want their organization to LEARN, so it can GROW, Enabling a TRANSFORMATION, Resulting in stronger RESULTS”.  Having said that, is it limited to “leaders” or does it also apply to “managers”?  It does indeed apply to both!

Our intent was never to diminish the skills and values managers provide; as a result, we wanted to share John G. Miller’s findings:

When people describe their boss as a “leader” and are asked to articulate specifically what that person does to “lead”—this is what we hear:

My boss communicated what I should do

     She followed up with me consistently.

     When I got it right, he praised me.

     She told me when I was off track.

     He talked to me—and listened.

     I was trained and coached.

     She spent time with me.

He showed me respect.

Guess what? Every item above is a people management
    skill. It’s what effective managers do, day in and day out,
    with and for their people.

Bottom line, we agree that effective managers ARE leaders!

Are you a manager of people? Then this is what you and all “aspiring leaders” need to know: Effective people management is leadership.
–John G. Miller

Clarity and Engagement

We need to draw out and leverage the unique talents within our organization so we can make a difference and improve levels of engagement (studies report that 73% of staff is not engaged)

Making a difference starts with CLARITY and it starts with YOU.

C  Communication
L   Listening
A  Authenticity
R  Results
I   Integrity
T  Trust
Y  YOU

Since YOU are in control of ensuring CLARITY exists, we’ll go in reverse order:

Y – How would YOU define your leadership skills? Would they be aligned with the perceptions and feedback others provide?

T – Are you able to build (and maintain) TRUSTing relationships with colleagues, direct reports, and partners?

I – Integrity is said to be the most-mentioned corporate value; do you live those values?

R – Are your desired results directly linked to your vision, mission, goals, and behaviors?

A – Is your delivery authentic?  Are your behaviors aligned with your expectations? Would others say you’re the “real deal”?

L – Do you truly listen (not just hear) what others say? Are you open to changing your mind, approach, and strategies if new information or opinions are shared with you?

C – Do you consistently communicate and do you confirm your message is understood?

Thomas Leonard sums it up nicely: Clarity affords focus (and focus increases engagement which brings results!)

If you want to help somebody, make sure you’re coming from a place of clarity and complete non-judgment; that way, you can begin to understand their journey, too.—Mary Lambert

 

Take a step towards clarity today by joining our next Leadership Journey. It is the perfect opportunity to become your best self. Clarity makes a huge difference in your leadership, so taking the time to invest in yourself is an important decision.

Contact us today if you are ready to gain clarity and improve your leadership.

Did You Hear Me?

Genuine listening is hard work; there is little about it that is mechanical…  We hear with our ears, but we listen with our eyes and mind and heart and skin and guts as well.–Alfred Benjamin

Hearing versus Listening. Do you consider them to mean the same thing? We’re here to share how and why they are very different.

We hear things without any effort or thought. In reality, most of us have the ability to tune out what we view as distractions or if we view the information as inconsequential. Listening on the other hand requires focus, and in general includes being attentive to what is being said and processing the message with the intent to understand (and in most cases we’re interested).

It’s been reported that words represent only 7% of what we “hear”, that volume, pitch, rhythm, and tone account for 38%, and that facial and body language represents 55%. No wonder it takes energy (and focus) to be an active listener.

Below are some reminders for improving our listening skills:

  • No interrupting
  • No multi-tasking
  • Be aware of body language, expressions, and tone
  • Listen for underlying meanings
  • Be open to differing views
  • Retain eye contact (this helps with attention levels)
  • Don’t suggest words or finish sentences when a pause occurs
  • Don’t solve or judge
  • Ask probing questions to obtain clarity and recap what you think you’ve heard

Something else to be aware of is “selective” listening. Are there individuals that you seem to always be fully engaged with and others that you have the inclination to “tune out”? Does the “deliverers” age, skill, gender, title, general demeanor affect your ability (and desire) to be an active listener? What else de-rails your ability to listen?

Awareness is key. Pay attention to your “non” listening behaviors ex. pencil tapping, raised eyebrows, blank stares, “zoning” out, making shopping lists, etc. If you have a “history” of losing focus with a particular person, make an extra effort to be attentive.

Do you have any other tips to improve one’s ability to be an active listener?

Man’s inability to communicate is a result of his failure to listen effectively.–Carl Rogers

Listen for Energizers

One of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to say.
—Bryant H. McGill

When you saw “Listen For Energizers” what came to mind? That it was a weird subject? Energizers are a part of magic dust and should be both listened for, and shared.

When you’re having one on one feedback or update sessions, do you listen (and watch) for excitement? Enthusiasm? Joy? Do you watch for levels of engagement? Does the person lean in?

This is all part of someone’s magic dust and as leaders it’s something we need to pay attention to. Not only is this respectful, it provides us with an understanding of how others feel, and shows that we’re interested in the person.

We don’t always have a lot of latitude when assigning work, projects, or tasks, but whenever possible, it behooves us to consider the requirements and match them with not only the skill-set, but with each person’s magic dust. Note: Often skills that are well done are linked with magic dust, but not always.

As leaders it’s important to pay attention to the type of work that others thrive on, and it’s equally beneficial for us to share our own interests with those we report to. We’re not saying you’ll only be given work that you enjoy doing (wishful thinking!), but if we’re candid about what kind of work we find most enjoyable, maybe we’ll be lucky enough to get more of those assignments.

Capitalizing on personal strengths will help with achieving results, as well as increasing satisfaction levels within the work culture.

Do you listen for energizers?

Listening is a master skill for personal and professional greatness.
—Robin S Sharma

Are You Influential?

The goal of leadership without authority is to get others to willingly cooperate and engage. –Carol Kinsey Goman

Last week we talked about the ability to influence others when there is no reporting structure.  Did you seriously ponder how influential you are, and did the LEAP model (Listen, Empathize, Agree and Plan) resonate at all?

Leadership styles and behaviors have changed in the past couple of decades (thankfully!). Gone are the days of dictatorial styles, and building and maintaining relationships, along with focusing on interpersonal skills seem to be more effective for driving and obtaining desired results.

Development Dimensions International, Inc has been conducting leadership studies for over 40 years and found that “only a slight majority (55 percent) of leaders feel that they and their peers are engaged in mutual influence”.

They also reported that communication skills, especially those related to listening, have ranked as the #1 skill for impacting high performance. And more specifically, listening and responding with empathy, obtain the best results.

There are 5 Listening Styles per Wiley’s Personal Listening profile:

Appreciative: Listens in a relaxed manner, seeking enjoyment, entertainment, or inspiration.
Empathic: Listens without judging, is supportive of the speaker, and learns from the experiences of others.
Comprehensive: Listens to organize and make sense of information by understanding relationships among ideas.
Discerning: Listens to get complete information, understand the main message, and determine important details.
Evaluative: Listens in order to make a decision based on information provided and may accept or reject message based on personal beliefs.

Based on the descriptions above, which sounds most like your listening style? When you read about the Empathic style, how aligned are you with that description?

Empathic listeners:

  • Provide support and reflection
  • Are patient listeners
  • Listen for emotions and feelings
  • Let others know that they care

What can you work on to increase your usage of the Empathic Listening style so your level of influence grows? Never doubt that listening takes work!

Want to become a better leader? Stop talking and start listening.
—Mike Myatt

Listen To Understand

The biggest communication problem is that we don’t listen to understand, we listen to reply.

This week we’re going to talk about listening again. Why? Because we frequently receive feedback that communication, and especially listening skills, are areas that require work.

While participating in a conversation, conference call, feedback session, or having any dialogue at all, are you truly listening?

An informal poll was conducted asking “Do You Listen To Reply”?  Meaning, does preparing your response take priority over hearing the whole “story”. Are you concentrating so much on your reply that you stopped listening?

-50% of the respondents admitted that sometimes they focused on their reply
-Another 33% admitted it was rare, but they too concentrated more on their reply than on what was being said.

Dr. Ralph Nichols has conducted numerous listening studies and has found that we spend 40 percent of our day listening to others, but retain just 25 percent of what we hear. We’re missing out on a lot!

Leadership consultant Andy Eklund provides the following tips:

1. Get rid of outside distractions.
2. Open your mind. Don’t judge. Only listen.
3. Listen for the big picture, not the details
4. Note, but don’t judge, non-verbal communications.
5. Do not jump to conclusions or interrupt.
6. Paraphrase the big picture, then add in details.
7. Challenge yourself first. It’s very possible you may disagree. If so, ask yourself Under what circumstance might this be true?

Listening may not include having a dialogue. Sometimes the person speaking has the sole intent to share or vent. Feel honored to be a sounding board and realize that no reply may be your best action!

Do you listen to understand?

THIS WEEK’S QWIKTIP!

Read more about LISTENING TAKES WORK

Do You Listen?

Are you an active listener?

In our quick paced society of juggling schedules, meeting deadlines and multi-tasking,  we don’t always allow ourselves to take the time to listen to what’s going on around us and for that matter, what we’re being asked (or told).

We don’t always take the time to hear the whole story, and we’re quick to jump to solutions so we can move on to the next task at hand.

Do you think about your response before listening (and processing) what’s being said in its entirety? If so, you may need to improve your listening skills.

We’re guessing you know that listening is comprised of more than just words, but did you know that words only represent 7% of what we “hear”? There are actually 4 types of communication that affect what we hear–verbal, para-verbal, body language, and personal space. Volume, pitch, rhythm, and tone (para-verbal communication) account for 38%, and facial and body language represents 55%.

Listening takes work! Experts estimate that 70% of communication is filtered, and as a result, the intended message is not accurately received.

The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them.
–Ralph Nichols

How Well Do You Listen?

Answer TRUE or FALSE to the following 11 questions to determine how well you listen.

  1. Listening is a learned skill that requires an active engagement.
  2. Hearing is an inactive skill affected by age, health, and interest.
  3. We speak at 300 words per minute. We listen 4 times faster, at 1,000-1,200 words per minute. Therefore, our minds frequently wander.
  4. All communication is received, but 70-90% of the data is screened out or altered by the receiver.
  5. Listening is perceived as a powerful skill by most people.
  6. We were born with two ears and just one mouth. Therefore, we should listen twice as much as we speak!
  7. Cultural tendencies do not affect our listening skills.
  8. Our brain often processes data forward (What do I say next? How do I defend myself? What shall I have for lunch?), or in reverse (Did I turn the car lights off? Did I get an e-mail back from…?).
  9. We can suspend judgment when listening by focusing on comprehension rather than details.
  10. Our ability to listen is not affected by meta-messages, the message within the message.
  11. Confirming understanding/stating alignment does not imply that you agree with the message.

Now score yourself! (Only #5 is false. All others are true.)

How did you do? Any surprises?

10-11 correct – WELL DONE!

8-9 correct – YOU’RE ON TRACK; KEEP WORKING AT IT

< 7 correct – PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE!

13 Ways to Improve Listening Skills

If you scored less than 7 correct answers, try incorporating this tips for improving your listening skills. Even if you got a perfect score, it couldn’t hurt to brush up on these skills. Great leaders are continual learners!

  1. No interrupting
  2. Don’t suggest words or finish sentences when a pause occurs
  3. Listen, don’t solve or judge
  4. Listen for underlying meanings
  5. When appropriate, ask probing questions to obtain clarity
  6. Let the person know if more facts are required prior to decision making or for further discussions
  7. Be open to differing views
  8. Maintain eye contact (this helps with attention levels)
  9. Let the person know if you have accepted or rejected what they have said and the rationale why (it’s okay to disagree!)
  10. Be aware of when “selective” listening is likely to occur (age, skill, gender, not appreciated co-worker, relative, etc.)
  11. Be aware of your “non” listening behaviors ex. pencil tapping, raised eyebrows, blank stares, “zoning” out
  12. If time is an issue let the person know and schedule more time, or ask “let’s summarize what we’ve decided”
  13. Paraphrase the message, and recap agreed upon take-aways

Most Common Listening Problem

I only wish I could find an institute that teaches people how to listen. Business people need to listen at least as much as they need to talk. Too many people fail to realize that real communication goes in both directions.
–Lee Iacocca

You may be surprised to learn that the most common listening problem is that we listen intently to some, neutrally to others, and not at all to a few.

Give it a minute to let it sink in. Can you identify individuals that you seem to always be fully engaged with and others that you have the inclination to “tune out”? You’re not alone!

Awareness is key. Pay attention to your “non” listening behaviors ex. pencil tapping, raised eyebrows, blank stares, zoning out, making shopping lists, etc. If you have a “history” of losing focus with a particular person, make an extra effort to use all the listening skills.

What listening skills do you consistently exhibit? What are your trouble spots?

Make a commitment to be an active listener and improve your listening skills!

QwikTip and QwikCoach

PeopleTek’s Strategic partner, E-Coach, specializes in online coaching tools.

QwikTip for a Change Initiative

And for those with a QwikCoach license, refresh your existing skills and acquire new skills by visiting the QwikTips library for leadership ideas and techniques.

If you don’t have QwikCoach, it’s an excellent resource for growing your leadership skills remotely that you should consider.

Learn More About QwikCoach

Help turn your leadership knowledge into leadership action!

Listen, Engage, and Prosper

Many leaders are faced with the exciting challenge of starting a new organization or leading a new team or project.

Some leaders are properly prepared to “show up,” make a great first impression, and know how to best engage their teams. Others not so much…

Coming together is a beginning. Keeping together is progress. Working together is success.
–Henry Ford

We suggest investigating the current “as is” situation and try to avoid having preconceived notions. You may have new direct reports, you may be the boss, but that does not mean you’re fully “in the know.”

How familiar are you with the new organization? Are they competent and thriving? Do they possess strong leadership skills, abilities, and talents? Are they meeting departmental goals? Even if you heard “no” to any of these questions, check it out for yourself.

Get to Know Your Team and Organization

A great way to begin is to ask key questions and get to know your team you’re leading on an individual level.

Listen and Engage

Start with the “people” side–learn a bit about each person. Then ask some thought-provoking business questions such as:

  • What are the biggest challenges you see facing the organization right now? Are there any you think may be an issue down the road?
  • Why do you believe these challenges are being faced?
  • What is the most proactive thing we can do for innovation and growth?
  • Do you have the tools, skills, and resources to obtain and grow results?
  • What are the needs required to achieve success?
  • If you were me, what would you do to lead this organization forward?

Simply gather the data; don’t criticize or minimize anything you’ve been told.

Listen, and show that each individual is being heard.

Prosper

Next, consolidate the responses into common threads and trends. You can then present these back to the team members that participated and determine next steps.

This exercise can provide you with invaluable data on how your team is thinking, identify resources necessary to succeed, and decide how to best achieve your vision, mission, and goals.

Invest in the time to know your team. Listen to them, engage them, and prosper!

Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much.
–Helen Keller

QwikTip and QwikCoach

PeopleTek’s Strategic partner, E-Coach, specializes in online coaching tools.

Check out this informative video of Mike Kublin and Dr. Rebecca Staton-Reinstein of Advantage Leadership discussing the importance of cooperation.

And for those with a QwikCoach license, refresh your existing skills and acquire new skills by visiting the QwikTips library for leadership ideas and techniques.

If you don’t have QwikCoach, it’s an excellent resource for growing your leadership skills remotely that you should consider.

Learn More About QwikCoach

Help turn your leadership knowledge into leadership action!

Did You Know?

Graduates of PeopleTek’s Leadership Journey Earn:

  • IT Professionals: 19 priSM CPD credits
  • Human Resource SPHR/PHR/GPHR: 19 HR (General) credit hours
  • Project Managers: PMI – up to 37 hours / 3 PSM level points
  • Executive Coaches: 18 ICF CCE’s (Core Competencies) & 5 ICF CCE’s (Resource Development)

Additionally, the Journey is approved for PMI re-certification credits.