Leaders developing leaders.

Listening

Clarity and Engagement

We need to draw out and leverage the unique talents within our organization so we can make a difference and improve levels of engagement (studies report that 73% of staff is not engaged)

Making a difference starts with CLARITY and it starts with YOU.

C  Communication
L   Listening
A  Authenticity
R  Results
I   Integrity
T  Trust
Y  YOU

Since YOU are in control of ensuring CLARITY exists, we’ll go in reverse order:

Y – How would YOU define your leadership skills? Would they be aligned with the perceptions and feedback others provide?

T – Are you able to build (and maintain) TRUSTing relationships with colleagues, direct reports, and partners?

I – Integrity is said to be the most-mentioned corporate value; do you live those values?

R – Are your desired results directly linked to your vision, mission, goals, and behaviors?

A – Is your delivery authentic?  Are your behaviors aligned with your expectations? Would others say you’re the “real deal”?

L – Do you truly listen (not just hear) what others say? Are you open to changing your mind, approach, and strategies if new information or opinions are shared with you?

C – Do you consistently communicate and do you confirm your message is understood?

Thomas Leonard sums it up nicely: Clarity affords focus (and focus increases engagement which brings results!)

If you want to help somebody, make sure you’re coming from a place of clarity and complete non-judgment; that way, you can begin to understand their journey, too.—Mary Lambert

Did You Hear Me?

Genuine listening is hard work; there is little about it that is mechanical…  We hear with our ears, but we listen with our eyes and mind and heart and skin and guts as well.–Alfred Benjamin

Hearing versus Listening. Do you consider them to mean the same thing? We’re here to share how and why they are very different.

We hear things without any effort or thought. In reality, most of us have the ability to tune out what we view as distractions or if we view the information as inconsequential. Listening on the other hand requires focus, and in general includes being attentive to what is being said and processing the message with the intent to understand (and in most cases we’re interested).

It’s been reported that words represent only 7% of what we “hear”, that volume, pitch, rhythm, and tone account for 38%, and that facial and body language represents 55%. No wonder it takes energy (and focus) to be an active listener.

Below are some reminders for improving our listening skills:

  • No interrupting
  • No multi-tasking
  • Be aware of body language, expressions, and tone
  • Listen for underlying meanings
  • Be open to differing views
  • Retain eye contact (this helps with attention levels)
  • Don’t suggest words or finish sentences when a pause occurs
  • Don’t solve or judge
  • Ask probing questions to obtain clarity and recap what you think you’ve heard

Something else to be aware of is “selective” listening. Are there individuals that you seem to always be fully engaged with and others that you have the inclination to “tune out”? Does the “deliverers” age, skill, gender, title, general demeanor affect your ability (and desire) to be an active listener? What else de-rails your ability to listen?

Awareness is key. Pay attention to your “non” listening behaviors ex. pencil tapping, raised eyebrows, blank stares, “zoning” out, making shopping lists, etc. If you have a “history” of losing focus with a particular person, make an extra effort to be attentive.

Do you have any other tips to improve one’s ability to be an active listener?

Man’s inability to communicate is a result of his failure to listen effectively.–Carl Rogers

Listen for Energizers

One of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to say.
—Bryant H. McGill

When you saw “Listen For Energizers” what came to mind? That it was a weird subject? Energizers are a part of magic dust and should be both listened for, and shared.

When you’re having one on one feedback or update sessions, do you listen (and watch) for excitement? Enthusiasm? Joy? Do you watch for levels of engagement? Does the person lean in?

This is all part of someone’s magic dust and as leaders it’s something we need to pay attention to. Not only is this respectful, it provides us with an understanding of how others feel, and shows that we’re interested in the person.

We don’t always have a lot of latitude when assigning work, projects, or tasks, but whenever possible, it behooves us to consider the requirements and match them with not only the skill-set, but with each person’s magic dust. Note: Often skills that are well done are linked with magic dust, but not always.

As leaders it’s important to pay attention to the type of work that others thrive on, and it’s equally beneficial for us to share our own interests with those we report to. We’re not saying you’ll only be given work that you enjoy doing (wishful thinking!), but if we’re candid about what kind of work we find most enjoyable, maybe we’ll be lucky enough to get more of those assignments.

Capitalizing on personal strengths will help with achieving results, as well as increasing satisfaction levels within the work culture.

Do you listen for energizers?

Listening is a master skill for personal and professional greatness.
—Robin S Sharma

Are You Influential?

The goal of leadership without authority is to get others to willingly cooperate and engage. –Carol Kinsey Goman

Last week we talked about the ability to influence others when there is no reporting structure.  Did you seriously ponder how influential you are, and did the LEAP model (Listen, Empathize, Agree and Plan) resonate at all?

Leadership styles and behaviors have changed in the past couple of decades (thankfully!). Gone are the days of dictatorial styles, and building and maintaining relationships, along with focusing on interpersonal skills seem to be more effective for driving and obtaining desired results.

Development Dimensions International, Inc has been conducting leadership studies for over 40 years and found that “only a slight majority (55 percent) of leaders feel that they and their peers are engaged in mutual influence”.

They also reported that communication skills, especially those related to listening, have ranked as the #1 skill for impacting high performance. And more specifically, listening and responding with empathy, obtain the best results.

There are 5 Listening Styles per Wiley’s Personal Listening profile:

Appreciative: Listens in a relaxed manner, seeking enjoyment, entertainment, or inspiration.
Empathic: Listens without judging, is supportive of the speaker, and learns from the experiences of others.
Comprehensive: Listens to organize and make sense of information by understanding relationships among ideas.
Discerning: Listens to get complete information, understand the main message, and determine important details.
Evaluative: Listens in order to make a decision based on information provided and may accept or reject message based on personal beliefs.

Based on the descriptions above, which sounds most like your listening style? When you read about the Empathic style, how aligned are you with that description?

Empathic listeners:

  • Provide support and reflection
  • Are patient listeners
  • Listen for emotions and feelings
  • Let others know that they care

What can you work on to increase your usage of the Empathic Listening style so your level of influence grows? Never doubt that listening takes work!

Want to become a better leader? Stop talking and start listening.
—Mike Myatt

Listen To Understand

The biggest communication problem is that we don’t listen to understand, we listen to reply.

This week we’re going to talk about listening again. Why? Because we frequently receive feedback that communication, and especially listening skills, are areas that require work.

While participating in a conversation, conference call, feedback session, or having any dialogue at all, are you truly listening?

An informal poll was conducted asking “Do You Listen To Reply”?  Meaning, does preparing your response take priority over hearing the whole “story”. Are you concentrating so much on your reply that you stopped listening?

-50% of the respondents admitted that sometimes they focused on their reply
-Another 33% admitted it was rare, but they too concentrated more on their reply than on what was being said.

Dr. Ralph Nichols has conducted numerous listening studies and has found that we spend 40 percent of our day listening to others, but retain just 25 percent of what we hear. We’re missing out on a lot!

Leadership consultant Andy Eklund provides the following tips:

1. Get rid of outside distractions.
2. Open your mind. Don’t judge. Only listen.
3. Listen for the big picture, not the details
4. Note, but don’t judge, non-verbal communications.
5. Do not jump to conclusions or interrupt.
6. Paraphrase the big picture, then add in details.
7. Challenge yourself first. It’s very possible you may disagree. If so, ask yourself Under what circumstance might this be true?

Listening may not include having a dialogue. Sometimes the person speaking has the sole intent to share or vent. Feel honored to be a sounding board and realize that no reply may be your best action!

Do you listen to understand?

THIS WEEK’S QWIKTIP!

Read more about LISTENING TAKES WORK

Do You Listen?

Are you an active listener?

In our quick paced society of juggling schedules, meeting deadlines and multi-tasking,  we don’t always allow ourselves to take the time to listen to what’s going on around us and for that matter, what we’re being asked (or told).

We don’t always take the time to hear the whole story, and we’re quick to jump to solutions so we can move on to the next task at hand.

Do you think about your response before listening (and processing) what’s being said in its entirety? If so, you may need to improve your listening skills.

We’re guessing you know that listening is comprised of more than just words, but did you know that words only represent 7% of what we “hear”? There are actually 4 types of communication that affect what we hear–verbal, para-verbal, body language, and personal space. Volume, pitch, rhythm, and tone (para-verbal communication) account for 38%, and facial and body language represents 55%.

Listening takes work! Experts estimate that 70% of communication is filtered, and as a result, the intended message is not accurately received.

The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them.
–Ralph Nichols

How Well Do You Listen?

Answer TRUE or FALSE to the following 11 questions to determine how well you listen.

  1. Listening is a learned skill that requires an active engagement.
  2. Hearing is an inactive skill affected by age, health, and interest.
  3. We speak at 300 words per minute. We listen 4 times faster, at 1,000-1,200 words per minute. Therefore, our minds frequently wander.
  4. All communication is received, but 70-90% of the data is screened out or altered by the receiver.
  5. Listening is perceived as a powerful skill by most people.
  6. We were born with two ears and just one mouth. Therefore, we should listen twice as much as we speak!
  7. Cultural tendencies do not affect our listening skills.
  8. Our brain often processes data forward (What do I say next? How do I defend myself? What shall I have for lunch?), or in reverse (Did I turn the car lights off? Did I get an e-mail back from…?).
  9. We can suspend judgment when listening by focusing on comprehension rather than details.
  10. Our ability to listen is not affected by meta-messages, the message within the message.
  11. Confirming understanding/stating alignment does not imply that you agree with the message.

Now score yourself! (Only #5 is false. All others are true.)

How did you do? Any surprises?

10-11 correct – WELL DONE!

8-9 correct – YOU’RE ON TRACK; KEEP WORKING AT IT

< 7 correct – PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE!

13 Ways to Improve Listening Skills

If you scored less than 7 correct answers, try incorporating this tips for improving your listening skills. Even if you got a perfect score, it couldn’t hurt to brush up on these skills. Great leaders are continual learners!

  1. No interrupting
  2. Don’t suggest words or finish sentences when a pause occurs
  3. Listen, don’t solve or judge
  4. Listen for underlying meanings
  5. When appropriate, ask probing questions to obtain clarity
  6. Let the person know if more facts are required prior to decision making or for further discussions
  7. Be open to differing views
  8. Maintain eye contact (this helps with attention levels)
  9. Let the person know if you have accepted or rejected what they have said and the rationale why (it’s okay to disagree!)
  10. Be aware of when “selective” listening is likely to occur (age, skill, gender, not appreciated co-worker, relative, etc.)
  11. Be aware of your “non” listening behaviors ex. pencil tapping, raised eyebrows, blank stares, “zoning” out
  12. If time is an issue let the person know and schedule more time, or ask “let’s summarize what we’ve decided”
  13. Paraphrase the message, and recap agreed upon take-aways

Most Common Listening Problem

I only wish I could find an institute that teaches people how to listen. Business people need to listen at least as much as they need to talk. Too many people fail to realize that real communication goes in both directions.
–Lee Iacocca

You may be surprised to learn that the most common listening problem is that we listen intently to some, neutrally to others, and not at all to a few.

Give it a minute to let it sink in. Can you identify individuals that you seem to always be fully engaged with and others that you have the inclination to “tune out”? You’re not alone!

Awareness is key. Pay attention to your “non” listening behaviors ex. pencil tapping, raised eyebrows, blank stares, zoning out, making shopping lists, etc. If you have a “history” of losing focus with a particular person, make an extra effort to use all the listening skills.

What listening skills do you consistently exhibit? What are your trouble spots?

Make a commitment to be an active listener and improve your listening skills!

QwikTip and QwikCoach

PeopleTek’s Strategic partner, E-Coach, specializes in online coaching tools.

QwikTip for a Change Initiative

And for those with a QwikCoach license, refresh your existing skills and acquire new skills by visiting the QwikTips library for leadership ideas and techniques.

If you don’t have QwikCoach, it’s an excellent resource for growing your leadership skills remotely that you should consider.

Learn More About QwikCoach

Help turn your leadership knowledge into leadership action!

Listen, Engage, and Prosper

Many leaders are faced with the exciting challenge of starting a new organization or leading a new team or project.

Some leaders are properly prepared to “show up,” make a great first impression, and know how to best engage their teams. Others not so much…

Coming together is a beginning. Keeping together is progress. Working together is success.
–Henry Ford

We suggest investigating the current “as is” situation and try to avoid having preconceived notions. You may have new direct reports, you may be the boss, but that does not mean you’re fully “in the know.”

How familiar are you with the new organization? Are they competent and thriving? Do they possess strong leadership skills, abilities, and talents? Are they meeting departmental goals? Even if you heard “no” to any of these questions, check it out for yourself.

Get to Know Your Team and Organization

A great way to begin is to ask key questions and get to know your team you’re leading on an individual level.

Listen and Engage

Start with the “people” side–learn a bit about each person. Then ask some thought-provoking business questions such as:

  • What are the biggest challenges you see facing the organization right now? Are there any you think may be an issue down the road?
  • Why do you believe these challenges are being faced?
  • What is the most proactive thing we can do for innovation and growth?
  • Do you have the tools, skills, and resources to obtain and grow results?
  • What are the needs required to achieve success?
  • If you were me, what would you do to lead this organization forward?

Simply gather the data; don’t criticize or minimize anything you’ve been told.

Listen, and show that each individual is being heard.

Prosper

Next, consolidate the responses into common threads and trends. You can then present these back to the team members that participated and determine next steps.

This exercise can provide you with invaluable data on how your team is thinking, identify resources necessary to succeed, and decide how to best achieve your vision, mission, and goals.

Invest in the time to know your team. Listen to them, engage them, and prosper!

Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much.
–Helen Keller

QwikTip and QwikCoach

PeopleTek’s Strategic partner, E-Coach, specializes in online coaching tools.

Check out this informative video of Mike Kublin and Dr. Rebecca Staton-Reinstein of Advantage Leadership discussing the importance of cooperation.

And for those with a QwikCoach license, refresh your existing skills and acquire new skills by visiting the QwikTips library for leadership ideas and techniques.

If you don’t have QwikCoach, it’s an excellent resource for growing your leadership skills remotely that you should consider.

Learn More About QwikCoach

Help turn your leadership knowledge into leadership action!

Did You Know?

Graduates of PeopleTek’s Leadership Journey Earn:

  • IT Professionals: 19 priSM CPD credits
  • Human Resource SPHR/PHR/GPHR: 19 HR (General) credit hours
  • Project Managers: PMI – up to 37 hours / 3 PSM level points
  • Executive Coaches: 18 ICF CCE’s (Core Competencies) & 5 ICF CCE’s (Resource Development)

Additionally, the Journey is approved for PMI re-certification credits.

Asking Key Questions

Key Components of Leadership

Asking questions to engage others, listening, and acknowledging what you heard, are  key components for leadership success.

Dear Leaders,

Do you truly know what’s happening in the workplace?  You may be on top project plans, deliverables, customer rosters, and status updates, but what about having a sense of how and what employees and staff are feeling and hearing?

As a leader, it’s important to be aware of the pulse on the floor.  We’re not talking about gossip, (although that will impact behaviors and attitudes), but rather how the staff feels about the work environment in general.  Some key areas of impact include:

  • Workload management
  • Team support
  • Matrix management
  • Deadline dependencies
  • Personal issues impacting work
  • Critical skills/knowledge
  • Workplace conflicts

Some leaders have a gift for “being in the know”; they may have an open door policy that invites informal exchanges, they may be viewed as a good listener, or they may just have team members that want to keep them informed.

Not all leaders are as fortunate and could benefit by taking advantage of break-room and hallway chats.  This doesn’t come natural for some, so John McKee, author for IT Leadership, shares his favorite 7 questions to engage others to “get in the know”:

  1. What’s the biggest issue on your plate right now?
  2. If I could do just one thing to make you more successful, what would it be?
  3. What’s the dumbest thing the company (or department) is doing (or working on)?
  4. If you had my job what would you focus on?
  5. What’s waking you up at night?
  6. Do you have the tools and resources you need to do your job in the best possible way?
  7. How can I help you to be more successful?

Another idea is to ask each team member to give a 60 second update during staff meetings; the intent is to share their opinion of the pulse of the business, and provide them with an opportunity to share something about their personal life.

Make sure you’re “in the know” – open lines of communication builds trust, promotes success, and grows the bottom line!