Leaders developing leaders.

Behaviors

More About Communication

Intelligence, knowledge or experience are important and might get you a job, but strong communication skills are what will get you promoted.
–Mireille Guiliano

We’ve previously shared information about communication styles and now want to provide a bit more. In theory, we all fall into one of the following descriptors:

D – DEMONSTRATORS
Demonstrators are people-oriented, fast-paced and enthusiastic. They usually have more open and casual body language. They tend to be animated and outgoing, and prefer an informal atmosphere. Demonstrators can be outrageous, spontaneous, excitable and sociable. They are ideas people who like to be in the limelight. If over-balanced in this style some weaknesses may show up such as being unreliable, self-centered, overly optimistic and indiscriminate.

A – ASSERTORS
Assertors are fast-paced and direct, like Demonstrators, but are more task-oriented, than people-oriented. They tend to be hard working, ambitious, leader types. They are good at making decisions quickly and efficiently. They are goal-oriented, assertive and confident. Assertors are the take-charge people who let nothing stop them. If over-balanced in this style some weaknesses may show up such as being too impatient, competitive and judgmental.

C – CONTEMPLATORS
Contemplators are task-oriented like Assertors. However they are more indirect and slow-paced. Contemplators tend to be analytical, detail-oriented, thinker types. They are persistent, good problem solvers, and pride themselves on their orderliness and accuracy. Often seen alone, they tend to have quiet, low-key personalities. If over-balanced in this style some weaknesses may show up such as being too withdrawn, rigid, closed-minded, and overly pessimistic.

N – NARRATORS
Narrators are slow-paced and indirect like Contemplators, but they are more people-oriented like Demonstrators. They are warm, friendly, gentle and cooperative. They highly value relationships over goals. They are good at listening, have a sweet temperament, and tend to be open-minded. Most people find them to be loving, and emotionally intuitive. If over-balanced in this style it can show up as overly meek and easily sidetracked.

Can you strongly relate to one particular style? Is there one that is definitely NOT you? Are you a blend?

The ABC’s are attitude, behavior and communication skills.
–Gerald Chertavian

Be Purposeful With Behaviors

Human behavior flows from three main sources: desire, emotion, and knowledge.
–Plato

The last piece of our VMGM (Vision, Mission, Goals, Measures) discussion is related to BEHAVIORS. We must be purposeful with our behaviors, and bottom line, all of our behaviors must support the achievement of our VMG.

This obviously requires that we are intimately aware of our VMG, that we are not only very clear on our role, but that we have a deeper understanding of HOW our role impacts successfully living and achieving our Vision, Mission, and Goals.

As Plato says our BEHAVIOR flows from our desire, emotion, and knowledge.

We also have to ensure our key processes and strategies are linked with our vision, mission and goals. This includes:

  • Hiring
  • Training and development
  • Performance Appraisals
  • Rewards and Recognition
  • Communication plans (the mode, the frequency, the level of content)
  • Change (anything new?)
  • Conflict (managing differences and expectations)

Do you want your behaviors to be modeled by others? Be honest! Ideally we’ll see positive behaviors in others, and if we’re truly effective leaders, some of those behaviors we observe may have been influenced by our own actions and behaviors.

You know the old clichés:
Walk the talk. Practice what you preach. Lead by example. Actions speak louder than words. Don’t ask others to do something you’re not willing to do. Be continual learners. Practice and apply new learnings. Be open to feedback. Listen twice as much as you talk.

Bottom line: be aware that we as leaders are indeed observed so model the behaviors that will help us, our colleagues, and our direct reports achieve the vision, mission, and goals for our organization.

Behavior is what a man does, not what he thinks, feels, or believes.
—Emily Dickinson

What Are You Doing For Others?

Average leaders focus on results, and that’s it. Good leaders focus also on the behaviors that will get the results. And great leaders focus, in addition, on the emotions that will drive these behaviors.
–Hitendra Wadhwa (professor, Columbia Business School / Founder, Institute for Personal Leadership)

This week in the United States we once again celebrated the life and memory of Martin Luther King, Jr, a minister, a civil-rights activist, an advocate of nonviolence, and a Nobel Peace Prize winner (1964).

Dr. King influenced so many without being arrogant, without being a bully, without looking down and speaking poorly of others, and without being divisive.  Quite the contrary, his focus was on peace and unity, and one of his most famous quotes was “Life’s most persistent and urgent question is, ‘What are you doing for others?”

He was a leader that held true to his beliefs, and promoted the behaviors required for everyone to be judged on their personal qualities, (not their color) and that violence not be responded to with violence, but rather with actions of peace.

Dr. King shared his “I Have a Dream” speech (and vision) at the 1963 March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom. He wanted to create a national movement to promote equality and economic opportunities for everyone, and that people would not be “judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.”

Professor Wadhwa provides the following insights from Martin Luther King, Jr’s “I HAVE A DREAM” speech:

  • Great leaders do not sugar-coat reality
  • Great leaders engage the heart
  • Great leaders refuse to accept the status quo
  • Great leaders create a sense of urgency
  • Great leaders call people to act in accord with their highest values
  • Great leaders refuse to settle
  • Great leaders acknowledge the sacrifice of their followers
  • Great leaders paint a vivid picture of a better tomorrow
  • Great leaders know it’s always right to do what is right

And we’ll add one:  Great leaders want to make others be their best; they take others where they have not been before, and would not go by themselves.

What are you doing for others?

Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.–MLK

The Cost Of Conflict

The better team members engage, speak, listen, hear, interpret and respond constructively, the more likely their teams are to leverage conflict rather than be leveled by it.
–Craig Runde and Tim Flanagan

We’re at it again, that is, sharing information about conflict, and the newly published costs for conflict in the workplace.

Based on results published by the Washington Business Journal, the typical manager spends 25 – 40% of his or her time dealing with workplace conflict. That equates to 1-2 days every workweek!

And, the Cost of Workplace Conflict in the U.S. is estimated at $359 Billion annually (2.8 hours per week @ $17.95 per hour).

Do you find this as staggering as we do? We’ve all experienced conflict in the workplace, and some of us are better at managing it than others, but it looks like it’s time we all make addressing conflict a priority.

According to authors Karl A. Slaikeu, Ralph H. Hasson, managing conflict is the largest reducible cost in many businesses, and the most common disruptive behaviors associated with workplace conflict include:

  • Being dismissive
  • Finger-pointing
  • Arguing
  • Not listening
  • Being sarcastic
  • Belittling
  • Gossiping
  • Caving in
  • Being disrespectful
  • Complaining about someone

It’s up to us as leaders to understand how we respond to conflict. We need to increase our awareness of not only our own conflict behaviors, but also those of our colleagues. And lastly, we need to recognize destructive responses and replace them with productive ones.

How well do you manage workplace conflict?  We can help!

If we manage conflict constructively, we harness its energy for creativity and development.
Kenneth Kaye

Feedback Increases Effectiveness

We all need people who will give us feedback. That’s how we improve.–Bill Gates

Can you believe it’s the 4th QTR of 2018? How are you doing?  How are you feeling? Have you accomplished all that you planned for, or will the next few months be action packed?

Hopefully your annual plan included soliciting feedback. Bill Gates’ quote above shares that we need feedback to improve.

As leaders, we may be more comfortable giving feedback than receiving it.  We view giving feedback as part of our job and have scheduled meetings (one on ones, performance appraisals) that lend themselves to discussing the positive behaviors and accomplishments, as well as the missed goals and opportunities.

We all have perceptions as to how our peers, subordinates, and business partners would evaluate us, but we rarely solicit feedback on a regular basis.   So what can we do?

You can start simple.  Ask 3 questions:

  • What do I do that makes a difference that you want me to continue doing?
  • What am I doing that you want me to stop?
  • What could I do better?

You may also want to consider using a formal 360’ feedback program – we use Wiley’s 363 For Leaders tool that evaluates 8 approaches for effective leadership (pioneering, energizing, affirming, inclusive, humble, deliberate, resolute and commanding). (Contact us if you want to learn more).

As leaders it’s pretty much a given that we provide regular and honoring feedback to our staff or team members, but there’s added value to the organization when we extend this to include peers and our boss.

How do you feel about both giving and receiving feedback? Do you find the process constructive and a learning experience?

Make sure any feedback you provide is timely, well intended, and delivered in an honoring way.  Also, when you receive feedback, you don’t necessarily have to take action – listen to what you’re being told, process it, and evaluate if acting on it would serve you well.

Remember, the whole idea of feedback is to grow and improve!

Author Alexander Lucia says:
Truly great leaders spend as much time collecting and acting upon feedback as they do providing it.

Transformational Leaders

All good businesses are personal. The best businesses are very personal.
–Mark Cuban, owner of the Dallas Mavericks

Lately we’ve had a theme around relationships. That’s because without relationship building, we as leaders would not obtain desired results, we wouldn’t have effective and productive teams, and the morale, commitment, and dedication of the team members would be diminished.

Dr. Greg Halpern says: Transformational leadership is about implementing new ideas, continual change to maintain relevance, staying flexible and adaptable, and continually improving relationships with those around them.

He also feels that transformational leaders build relationships by applying or possessing the following behaviors and traits:

  • Charisma
  • Inspirational motivation
  • Intellectual stimulation
  • Individual consideration
  • High morals
  • Trustworthiness
  • Creates an actionable vision
  • Treats everyone as individuals
  • Coaches, mentors, and provides growth opportunities
  • Creates a culture of self-fulfillment and self-worth
  • Provides constant and candid communication

Dr. Terry Jackson adds to this list in his 7 Principles For Developing Quality Relationships where he defines what in his opinion constitutes quality relationships:

  1. Acceptance
  2. Respect
  3. Understanding
  4. Transparency
  5. Non-judgment
  6. Empowerment
  7. Trust

This is quite a list and one that even a seasoned leader will need to review in depth to assess up-skill needs.

We suggest you rate each one on a scale of 1 – 5 to help narrow down areas for development.  You can even ask your peers and direct reports to rate you and compare how aligned you are.

The results may prove interesting!

Manipulative Leaders-Create Distrust and selfishness
Transactional Leaders-Create Mediocrity and complacency
Motivational Leaders-Create Positivity and Action
Influential Leaders-Create Growth and Empowerment
Servant-Leaders-Create Authenticity and Explosive Growth
Transformational Leaders-Create Change and Leave Legacies
― Farshad Asl

 

Mentally Tough

Mental toughness is a choice and a discipline, not an innate quality bestowed upon the lucky.
–Travis Bradberry

Would you consider yourself mentally tough?  How well do you manage and learn from the errors/failures that occur? What about when dealing with difficult people? From a job that takes all of your energy, and then some?

Let’s face it, we all have those kind of days when everything just seems “off”; it’s how we manage it that counts.

Dr. Travis Bradberry suggests that regardless of the challenges we encounter, we need to remain mentally tough, see new opportunities, and take action.

He also shared that individuals that are truly mentally tough possess the following qualities:

  1. They’re emotionally intelligent
  2. They’re confident
  3. They neutralize toxic people
  4. They embrace change
  5. They say no
  6. They know fear is the No. 1 source of regret
  7. They embrace failure
  8. They don’t dwell on mistakes
  9. They won’t let anyone limit their joy
  10. They don’t limit the joy of others
  11. They exercise
  12. They get enough sleep
  13. They limit their caffeine intake
  14. They don’t wait for an apology to forgive
  15. They’re relentlessly positive

We need to realize we can’t control everything (that’s hard for some of us!), but we can focus our energy on those things that we can influence, and take action on.

Of the 15 items listed, which challenge your ability to be mentally tough?

You have good days, you have bad days. But the main thing is to grow mentally.
– Floyd Mayweather, Jr

Divisive or Inclusive?

The effect of leadership failure on any organization of people is the same: Polarization, instability, and if left unchecked, destruction.
–Steve Tobak

We continually provide tips and share stories about becoming a more effective leader, and we also discuss optimal behaviors and skill-sets that the strongest leaders possess.  Why?  Because if we don’t continually work at being our best, we may find that we have unintentionally created instability or uncertainty, and find that our team is floundering.

Effective leaders set the tone for their entire team/organization. They share their vision, mission, goals, and strategies, and they create and communicate a roadmap for reaching the desired point of destination.

They focus on inclusiveness. They communicate. They clarify how each colleague can contribute to achieving shared goals. They help everyone understand how and why they each have a role, helping minimize obstacles within the roadmap.

In Deloitte Insights, Juliet Bourke and Bernadette Dillon published The Six Signature Traits Of Inclusive Leadership:

SIX SIGNATURE TRAITS

  • COGNIZANCE – Bias is a leaders Achilles heel
  • CURIOSITY – Different ideas and experiences enable growth
  • CULTURAL INTELLIGENCE – Not everyone sees the world through the same cultural frame
  • COLLABORATION –  A diverse thinking team is greater than the sum of its parts
  • COMMITMENT – Staying the course is hard
  • COURAGE – Talking about imperfections involves personal risk taking

These concepts should sound very familiar.  We equate them to:

Awareness  – of self and others and the value provided
Continual learning – never get complacent or lose the desire to improve and listen to differing perspectives
Emotional Intelligence – understand the difference between IQ and EQ and leverage the strengths
Collaboration – working together to find a solution is a win-win
Accountability, persistence and commitment – don’t give up despite barriers or failures
Courage – We coined the term CourageAbility™ (and wrote a book!)

Is inclusive leadership part of your work culture?

QWIKTIPS – click to read why FEAR IS A BARRIER TO SUCCESS

Sources of Pain

For good ideas and true innovation, you need human interaction, conflict, argument, debate.
–Margaret Heffernan

Sources of pain.  We’re talking about at work.  Do you know people that complicate your ability to delivery and achieve goals? Do they deflate the energy of those they work with?

Perhaps they are:

  • Disruptive
  • Antagonistic
  • Over committers
  • Under performers
  • Not reliable
  • Lacking accountability
  • Finger pointers
  • Not accepting of differences or change
  • Exhibits dictatorial behaviors

Some refer to these difficult individuals as sources of pain, and the situation/behavior that creates the difficulty must be managed (and the sooner the better).

Here are a few tips that can help:

  • Evaluate whether you could have misunderstood the behavior
  • Try to understand the intention behind the action
  • Be respectful and factual – share your perception with the “source of pain” using facts
  • Assess whether you are the only one experiencing the issue
  • Don’t focus only on the negative; could it just be a bad day or is it a consistent problem?
  • Don’t wait; address it immediately

Human interactions often include conflict, (simply a difference of opinion/perspective) and this can be inspiring, energizing, and thought provoking.

Just remember that it’s up to us as leaders to address any actions/behaviors that negatively impact our ability to obtain desired results.

Are there any sources of pain you need to address?

QWIKTIPS – click to read about 5 Common Leadership Mistakes

Self Control

Self-control, an essential quality for any leader and team if they are going to perform near to their capability. It is necessary that the leader demonstrates self-control if he expects his team to have self-control. Craig Impelman

How’s your self-control? When your “buttons” are being pushed can you immediately feel the discomfort? And, despite this ill feeling, do you have the ability to think calmly and respond appropriately? It’s not easy.

Having the skill to respond with purpose and remain composed is something that we as leaders need to strive for on a daily basis. We need to continually improve our communication, interactions and relationships with our staff, customers, and situations.

Our level of effectiveness is directly tied to self-control and being aware. We all have hot buttons and we all know individuals that seem to have a “gift” to light those buttons up. Some common items that lend themselves to control issues include:

  • Inaccurate/incomplete information
  • Not being informed of problems
  • Insubordination
  • Lack of commitment or accountability
  • Lack of effort and collaboration

When things happen that we didn’t expect, others are watching us to see how we respond. Once we lose our composure, the damage is done and may not be recovered from even when our composure is restored.

Highly effective leaders are in control of their emotions at all times. We may need to postpone a response, use the restroom, or take an “urgent” call allowing us time to regroup and regain our control.

Remaining calm under pressure takes work. What techniques do you use that enable you to be composed and in control?  Let us know!

THIS WEEK’S QWIKTIP!

Click to read how to STAY COOL