Leaders developing leaders.

Behaviors

The Cost Of Conflict

The better team members engage, speak, listen, hear, interpret and respond constructively, the more likely their teams are to leverage conflict rather than be leveled by it.
–Craig Runde and Tim Flanagan

We’re at it again, that is, sharing information about conflict, and the newly published costs for conflict in the workplace.

Based on results published by the Washington Business Journal, the typical manager spends 25 – 40% of his or her time dealing with workplace conflict. That equates to 1-2 days every workweek!

And, the Cost of Workplace Conflict in the U.S. is estimated at $359 Billion annually (2.8 hours per week @ $17.95 per hour).

Do you find this as staggering as we do? We’ve all experienced conflict in the workplace, and some of us are better at managing it than others, but it looks like it’s time we all make addressing conflict a priority.

According to authors Karl A. Slaikeu, Ralph H. Hasson, managing conflict is the largest reducible cost in many businesses, and the most common disruptive behaviors associated with workplace conflict include:

  • Being dismissive
  • Finger-pointing
  • Arguing
  • Not listening
  • Being sarcastic
  • Belittling
  • Gossiping
  • Caving in
  • Being disrespectful
  • Complaining about someone

It’s up to us as leaders to understand how we respond to conflict. We need to increase our awareness of not only our own conflict behaviors, but also those of our colleagues. And lastly, we need to recognize destructive responses and replace them with productive ones.

How well do you manage workplace conflict?  We can help!

If we manage conflict constructively, we harness its energy for creativity and development.
Kenneth Kaye

Feedback Increases Effectiveness

We all need people who will give us feedback. That’s how we improve.–Bill Gates

Can you believe it’s the 4th QTR of 2018? How are you doing?  How are you feeling? Have you accomplished all that you planned for, or will the next few months be action packed?

Hopefully your annual plan included soliciting feedback. Bill Gates’ quote above shares that we need feedback to improve.

As leaders, we may be more comfortable giving feedback than receiving it.  We view giving feedback as part of our job and have scheduled meetings (one on ones, performance appraisals) that lend themselves to discussing the positive behaviors and accomplishments, as well as the missed goals and opportunities.

We all have perceptions as to how our peers, subordinates, and business partners would evaluate us, but we rarely solicit feedback on a regular basis.   So what can we do?

You can start simple.  Ask 3 questions:

  • What do I do that makes a difference that you want me to continue doing?
  • What am I doing that you want me to stop?
  • What could I do better?

You may also want to consider using a formal 360’ feedback program – we use Wiley’s 363 For Leaders tool that evaluates 8 approaches for effective leadership (pioneering, energizing, affirming, inclusive, humble, deliberate, resolute and commanding). (Contact us if you want to learn more).

As leaders it’s pretty much a given that we provide regular and honoring feedback to our staff or team members, but there’s added value to the organization when we extend this to include peers and our boss.

How do you feel about both giving and receiving feedback? Do you find the process constructive and a learning experience?

Make sure any feedback you provide is timely, well intended, and delivered in an honoring way.  Also, when you receive feedback, you don’t necessarily have to take action – listen to what you’re being told, process it, and evaluate if acting on it would serve you well.

Remember, the whole idea of feedback is to grow and improve!

Author Alexander Lucia says:
Truly great leaders spend as much time collecting and acting upon feedback as they do providing it.

Transformational Leaders

All good businesses are personal. The best businesses are very personal.
–Mark Cuban, owner of the Dallas Mavericks

Lately we’ve had a theme around relationships. That’s because without relationship building, we as leaders would not obtain desired results, we wouldn’t have effective and productive teams, and the morale, commitment, and dedication of the team members would be diminished.

Dr. Greg Halpern says: Transformational leadership is about implementing new ideas, continual change to maintain relevance, staying flexible and adaptable, and continually improving relationships with those around them.

He also feels that transformational leaders build relationships by applying or possessing the following behaviors and traits:

  • Charisma
  • Inspirational motivation
  • Intellectual stimulation
  • Individual consideration
  • High morals
  • Trustworthiness
  • Creates an actionable vision
  • Treats everyone as individuals
  • Coaches, mentors, and provides growth opportunities
  • Creates a culture of self-fulfillment and self-worth
  • Provides constant and candid communication

Dr. Terry Jackson adds to this list in his 7 Principles For Developing Quality Relationships where he defines what in his opinion constitutes quality relationships:

  1. Acceptance
  2. Respect
  3. Understanding
  4. Transparency
  5. Non-judgment
  6. Empowerment
  7. Trust

This is quite a list and one that even a seasoned leader will need to review in depth to assess up-skill needs.

We suggest you rate each one on a scale of 1 – 5 to help narrow down areas for development.  You can even ask your peers and direct reports to rate you and compare how aligned you are.

The results may prove interesting!

Manipulative Leaders-Create Distrust and selfishness
Transactional Leaders-Create Mediocrity and complacency
Motivational Leaders-Create Positivity and Action
Influential Leaders-Create Growth and Empowerment
Servant-Leaders-Create Authenticity and Explosive Growth
Transformational Leaders-Create Change and Leave Legacies
― Farshad Asl

 

Mentally Tough

Mental toughness is a choice and a discipline, not an innate quality bestowed upon the lucky.
–Travis Bradberry

Would you consider yourself mentally tough?  How well do you manage and learn from the errors/failures that occur? What about when dealing with difficult people? From a job that takes all of your energy, and then some?

Let’s face it, we all have those kind of days when everything just seems “off”; it’s how we manage it that counts.

Dr. Travis Bradberry suggests that regardless of the challenges we encounter, we need to remain mentally tough, see new opportunities, and take action.

He also shared that individuals that are truly mentally tough possess the following qualities:

  1. They’re emotionally intelligent
  2. They’re confident
  3. They neutralize toxic people
  4. They embrace change
  5. They say no
  6. They know fear is the No. 1 source of regret
  7. They embrace failure
  8. They don’t dwell on mistakes
  9. They won’t let anyone limit their joy
  10. They don’t limit the joy of others
  11. They exercise
  12. They get enough sleep
  13. They limit their caffeine intake
  14. They don’t wait for an apology to forgive
  15. They’re relentlessly positive

We need to realize we can’t control everything (that’s hard for some of us!), but we can focus our energy on those things that we can influence, and take action on.

Of the 15 items listed, which challenge your ability to be mentally tough?

You have good days, you have bad days. But the main thing is to grow mentally.
– Floyd Mayweather, Jr

Divisive or Inclusive?

The effect of leadership failure on any organization of people is the same: Polarization, instability, and if left unchecked, destruction.
–Steve Tobak

We continually provide tips and share stories about becoming a more effective leader, and we also discuss optimal behaviors and skill-sets that the strongest leaders possess.  Why?  Because if we don’t continually work at being our best, we may find that we have unintentionally created instability or uncertainty, and find that our team is floundering.

Effective leaders set the tone for their entire team/organization. They share their vision, mission, goals, and strategies, and they create and communicate a roadmap for reaching the desired point of destination.

They focus on inclusiveness. They communicate. They clarify how each colleague can contribute to achieving shared goals. They help everyone understand how and why they each have a role, helping minimize obstacles within the roadmap.

In Deloitte Insights, Juliet Bourke and Bernadette Dillon published The Six Signature Traits Of Inclusive Leadership:

SIX SIGNATURE TRAITS

  • COGNIZANCE – Bias is a leaders Achilles heel
  • CURIOSITY – Different ideas and experiences enable growth
  • CULTURAL INTELLIGENCE – Not everyone sees the world through the same cultural frame
  • COLLABORATION –  A diverse thinking team is greater than the sum of its parts
  • COMMITMENT – Staying the course is hard
  • COURAGE – Talking about imperfections involves personal risk taking

These concepts should sound very familiar.  We equate them to:

Awareness  – of self and others and the value provided
Continual learning – never get complacent or lose the desire to improve and listen to differing perspectives
Emotional Intelligence – understand the difference between IQ and EQ and leverage the strengths
Collaboration – working together to find a solution is a win-win
Accountability, persistence and commitment – don’t give up despite barriers or failures
Courage – We coined the term CourageAbility™ (and wrote a book!)

Is inclusive leadership part of your work culture?

QWIKTIPS – click to read why FEAR IS A BARRIER TO SUCCESS

Sources of Pain

For good ideas and true innovation, you need human interaction, conflict, argument, debate.
–Margaret Heffernan

Sources of pain.  We’re talking about at work.  Do you know people that complicate your ability to delivery and achieve goals? Do they deflate the energy of those they work with?

Perhaps they are:

  • Disruptive
  • Antagonistic
  • Over committers
  • Under performers
  • Not reliable
  • Lacking accountability
  • Finger pointers
  • Not accepting of differences or change
  • Exhibits dictatorial behaviors

Some refer to these difficult individuals as sources of pain, and the situation/behavior that creates the difficulty must be managed (and the sooner the better).

Here are a few tips that can help:

  • Evaluate whether you could have misunderstood the behavior
  • Try to understand the intention behind the action
  • Be respectful and factual – share your perception with the “source of pain” using facts
  • Assess whether you are the only one experiencing the issue
  • Don’t focus only on the negative; could it just be a bad day or is it a consistent problem?
  • Don’t wait; address it immediately

Human interactions often include conflict, (simply a difference of opinion/perspective) and this can be inspiring, energizing, and thought provoking.

Just remember that it’s up to us as leaders to address any actions/behaviors that negatively impact our ability to obtain desired results.

Are there any sources of pain you need to address?

QWIKTIPS – click to read about 5 Common Leadership Mistakes

Self Control

Self-control, an essential quality for any leader and team if they are going to perform near to their capability. It is necessary that the leader demonstrates self-control if he expects his team to have self-control. Craig Impelman

How’s your self-control? When your “buttons” are being pushed can you immediately feel the discomfort? And, despite this ill feeling, do you have the ability to think calmly and respond appropriately? It’s not easy.

Having the skill to respond with purpose and remain composed is something that we as leaders need to strive for on a daily basis. We need to continually improve our communication, interactions and relationships with our staff, customers, and situations.

Our level of effectiveness is directly tied to self-control and being aware. We all have hot buttons and we all know individuals that seem to have a “gift” to light those buttons up. Some common items that lend themselves to control issues include:

  • Inaccurate/incomplete information
  • Not being informed of problems
  • Insubordination
  • Lack of commitment or accountability
  • Lack of effort and collaboration

When things happen that we didn’t expect, others are watching us to see how we respond. Once we lose our composure, the damage is done and may not be recovered from even when our composure is restored.

Highly effective leaders are in control of their emotions at all times. We may need to postpone a response, use the restroom, or take an “urgent” call allowing us time to regroup and regain our control.

Remaining calm under pressure takes work. What techniques do you use that enable you to be composed and in control?  Let us know!

THIS WEEK’S QWIKTIP!

Click to read how to STAY COOL

Employee Excellence

Exceptional employees don’t possess God-given personality traits; they rely on simple, everyday EQ skills that anyone can incorporate into their repertoire.
—Travis Bradberry

How would you define employee excellence? What role do you play to ensure “excellence” comes alive and is leveraged? Travis Bradberry, author of 10 Ways To Spot A Truly Exceptional Employee feels emotional intelligence (EQ) is the key.

Emotional intelligence is the genuine ability to feel emotions, understand what you’re feeling and why, understand how others are feeling, and respond appropriately. And, the best part is that we can increase our EQ through self-development.

Having a high EQ builds relationships and fosters communication and consists of the following 4 areas:

Self Awareness (critical when engaging in communication)
Self Management (key for managing emotions in difficult situations)
Social Awareness (leverages awareness of others to perform at their peak)
Relationship Management (manages relationships to increase job performance and integrates EQ professionally and personally)

Bradberry says the following about exceptional employees:

1.    They neutralize toxic people. Exceptional employees control their interactions with toxic people by keeping their feelings in check and confront the toxic person rationally.

2.    They’re marketable. Exceptional employees are well liked and have integrity and can be trusted to represent the brand well.

3.    They’re accountable. They own their work, their decisions, and all of their results—good or bad.

4.    They recognize when things are broken and fix them. They see problems as issues to be fixed immediately and don’t walk past the problem.

5.    They’re never satisfied. Exceptional employees have unparalleled convictions that things can always be better.

6.    They’re in control of their egos. They’re willing to admit when they’re wrong and are willing to do things someone else’s way to improve results (or the situation).

7.    They’re judiciously courageous. Exceptional employees are willing to speak up when others are not, and they balance this with common sense and timing.

8.    They focus. They can differentiate between real problems and background noise; therefore, they stay focused on what matters.

9.    They can tolerate conflict. While exceptional employees don’t seek conflict, they don’t run away from it either. They maintain their composure in pursuit of the greater goal.

10.   They’re willing to delay gratification. Exceptional employees work outside the boundaries of job descriptions and are not dependent on recognition to do so.

Does your development planning include growing emotional intelligence levels? If you want to increase employee excellence, you may want want to consider it!

THIS WEEK’S QWIKTIP!

Click to read more about EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

MLK = Courage and Integrity

Average leaders focus on results, and that’s it. Good leaders focus also on the behaviors that will get the results. And great leaders focus, in addition, on the emotions that will drive these behaviors. –Hitendra Wadhwa (professor, Columbia Business School / Founder, Institute for Personal Leadership)

On Monday the United States celebrated the life and memory of Martin Luther King, Jr.  Dr. King was a minister, a civil-rights activist, an advocate of nonviolence, and a Nobel Peace Prize winner (1964).

He was also a leader that lived his life with courage and integrity and encouraged others to do the same. He held true to his beliefs, and promoted the behaviors required for everyone to be judged on their personal qualities, (not their color) and that violence not be responded to with violence, but rather with actions of peace. Talk about living and leading with courage and integrity!

Dr. King influenced so many without being arrogant, without being a bully, without looking down and speaking poorly of others, and without being divisive.  Quite the contrary, his focus was on peace and unity, and one of his most famous quotes was “Life’s most persistent and urgent question is, ‘What are you doing for others?”

Professor Wadhwa provides the following insights from Martin Luther King, Jr’s “I HAVE A DREAM” speech:

  • Great leaders do not sugar-coat reality
  • Great leaders engage the heart
  • Great leaders refuse to accept the status quo
  • Great leaders create a sense of urgency
  • Great leaders call people to act in accord with their highest values
  • Great leaders refuse to settle
  • Great leaders acknowledge the sacrifice of their followers
  • Great leaders paint a vivid picture of a better tomorrow

In closing, we want to share one last quote: The time is always right to do what is right.
Great words to live by don’t you think?

THIS WEEK’S QWIKTIP!

Read why FEAR IS A BARRIER TO SUCCESS

Mindset Re-Swizzle

Rule your mind or it will rule you.–Horace

How’s your personal and professional mindset? As 2017 is coming to a close, are you still energized and motivated? Would a “re-swizzled” mindset help? SUCCESS magazine (January 2018) provides content on the following:

STAY STRONG
Mentally and physically; incorporate exercise in both.

SELF-CARE
Every day build in time for self-reflection or meditation.

CHANGE LANGUAGE
Replace your negative thoughts and words with “I can/I will” verbiage.

GET INTENTIONAL
What’s your purpose and intent? Do your behaviors support them?

FUEL CREATIVITY
Pause and reflect on new perspectives and alternative views.

DEAL WITH IT
We all have to manage the unexpected; don’t let them derail you.

LEARN MORE
Commit to continual self-development; add reading to your goals.

BE COURAGEOUS
Being a leader requires courage!

OWN UP TO IT
Be accountable; hold others accountable; document improvement possibilities.

AIM HIGH
Set stretch goals and establish steps to help stay on track on reflect progress.

How can you re-swizzle your mindset to benefit your life and career?

THIS WEEK’S QWIKTIP!

Read about
BEING ADAPTIVE AND AGILE